Blah!!!

So, this is the first time in the year that I've been blogging, that I'm not really feeling it. Typically, I've been on top of things, and I've always been eager to update immediately. I'm just in a FuNk!!! Honestly, there is just so much going on in my head, that thinking about anything else, causes a HUGE panic attack. I don't want to go into specifics, because down the road I have no desire to have the details documented to look back upon. We'll just say it ALL has to do with work. I'm in a horrid situation suddenly, and I feel trapped. I've looked at going back to school, but Jake technically makes too much money to where I wouldn't be able to go to school without working. This would be so hard, because I would feel like I'm neglecting my kids at such an important time in there life. I'm just scrambling to try to get myself in a better environment, and SOON! This stress has truly affected me in every aspect of my everyday life. I'm down, I have no energy, it takes everything I have just to make it to work so I still have a paycheck coming my way, and I haven't been treating Reece very nicely. Reece has always been my challenging child, and it has taken every ounce of energy to have survived with him for almost 5 years now. Please don't get me wrong. I LOVE REECE!! He is just the complete opposite of me, and our personalities don't mesh all the time. I think it's great that he is so different from me, because I see so much potential in him. He just demands a lot of attention and drains a lot from me physically and emotionally. I'm usually great with him, just in this funk, I'm struggling!!!!!!! I really do LOVE Reece, and wouldn't trade him for anything!! So, if you don't see me on here updating, this would be why.

On a more positive note, a few things are happening that have made my days a little brighter. Jake is being terrific! It is in a man's blood to avoid stressful situations, and just go straight to fixing them. Unfortunately, he can't just fix this. Only time can do that. He's been SO understanding! I know he hates that I'm not cleaning up the house regularly, or keeping up with laundry, or doing the dishes as often as he does. He knows I'm down, and he is stepping it up. I'm so lucky!!!
My bestie, Andrea, is coming back to KS for Thanksgiving! I'm SUPER excited! I don't only get to see her and her kids, but all of her family will be back, and she is being SO sweet, and hosting jewelry party for me! I can't wait to see her!!
I have a job interview next week. It is with the school district. I truly think being on the same schedule as the boys, would be a perfect fit! I'm excited, but don't want to get my hopes up prematurely, either. So just pray for me!!! If it doesn't work out, it just wasn't meant to be.
And finally, basketball season is under way!! I have so many days that, just knowing I get to go home and enjoy college (KU) basketball, really helps get me through my day. Rock Chalk!!